coffeefirsthuman

/ˈkɒfiˌfɜːstˈhjuːmən/adjectiveVerified New

Also in: Erstbechermensch (Deutsch) · cafedáctilo (Español) · cafumain (Français)

Describing a person who is not approachable, functional, or fully human before the first cup.

The coffeefirsthuman conduct their first conversation of the day at arm's length, gesturing. Family members know the protocol and speak accordingly, quietly. The condition is temporary, daily, and cured by the cup, after which the person arrives, warm, and apologizes for the previous occupant.

Etym. — coffee first + human — the speciation that occurs before caffeine.

Rel. — coffeealgebra

Novelty check: APPROVE

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